Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
Bitter eyes and tears might taint a drink, but sitting in this bar alone with your stool pulled out next to me, and the Martini poured regardless of your presence still brings a smile to my face; despite the taste. I'm having a whiskey myself; dry. Yes, I know I don't drink, but every once in a while you need whiskey to solve an intricate problem, and mine is the distinct lack of alcohol in my life.

There are people everywhere and it amazes me how none of them are you, from the woman in the black dress coming down the stairs to the signing couple in the corner, laughing silently. They're not you at all, and that's what's amazing – in an ocean of coal you're a marble pebble, smooth to the touch and pleasant to the eye, and you don't leave me scarred.

Much.

I'll kick back the tumbler for now, refilling your drink when necessary, despite you never having it. The waitress will look at me with tired eyes and concerned words, but I'll insist I'm drinking with a friend, whilst that sad guitarist plays his song and I mumble with him; lyrics, half-heard.

Nights can be cold, but walking home by the gutter has its own sense of beauty. I can spy a rainbow in an oil-slick, and it usually keeps me happy. There's still some colour left in my life, despite my favourite one being just out of reach. I'm a purple man, myself – it's regal, fit for a prince[ess].

My ocean's a cruel maiden, keeping me from you, yet I find the distance adds to the flavour. I like company in the small hours of the morning (or my afternoons) and you've kept me sane. I think you've kept me sane. I suppose taking a second stool and drink at the bar doesn't help my conviction, much.

If people are multi-faceted, then I'm pretty sure you're a dodecahedron, complete with a lucid geometry I can't quite take my eyes off. I'd love to bisect your angles, measure your curves. Sadly, I can't find my plane of least resistance, so I'll trudge on through the snow and the oil slicks 'till I get home and collapse into bed.

The whiskey stops the dreams – that's the kindness of it. If I can never be fully happy, I can never fully miss the thing I've never had.
For a dear friend. :heart:
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2012-10-07
:iconthecheshercat:
TheChesherCat Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I love the very real presence in this of a second person. Vivid and original story :D
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here: dailylitdeviations.deviantart.… Congratulations on your DD!

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article. Keep writing and keep creating.
Reply
:iconpossumfan:
PossumFan Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is very good. I like whiskey. Jack. <'3

+ fave
Reply
:iconhymenomycotina:
Hymenomycotina Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oooh that just hit me close to home. It's lovely. Cathartic.
Reply
:icondawnfad:
Dawnfad Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i relate this in the oddest ways but this is very lovely thank you for showing this on da so we could see it :)
Reply
:iconthemaideninblack:
TheMaidenInBlack Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012
Fuck yes, David. Fuck. Yes.
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
Fuck yes, me. Fuck. Yes.
Reply
:iconthemaideninblack:
TheMaidenInBlack Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012
There isn't a plz account badass enough for this, is there.
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
Not really.
Reply
:iconthemaideninblack:
TheMaidenInBlack Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
): I knew it.
Reply
:iconxcxninuixcx:
xcxNinuixcx Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Amazing. :wow:

Congrats on the DD. :aww:
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you. :heart:
Reply
:icontrylledrik:
Trylledrik Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That's amazing. You just won your "dear friend" over my, my friend, if you haven't already.
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
Oh, I have. ;)
Reply
:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
So, first I see this as a DLD. Then I come to read it in =Sammur-amat's feature. And now, I can see it's received a DD as well. Obviously, it's something I've needed to read! I'm glad I did! This is so beautiful. The narrator's voice is magnificent- I often get frustrated with the tones in first person pieces, but this is perfect. It reads like the most honest thoughts running through someone's head. That last paragraph really made it for me. It reflects both the devastation in this person and their purpose in drinking.

Congratulations on everything, beautiful piece! :heart:
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
(This piece has gotten some love recently, hasn't it? :XD:)

I only write my first person as monologues, they get to haphazard or childish otherwise.

:heart: Thank you.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012   General Artist
I AM SO VERY VERY VERY DELIGHTED FOR YOU, AMAZING MENTOR SIR!
CONGRATULATIONS ON THE MOST RIGHTFULLY DESERVED DD!
:iconlaloveplz:
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
:heart: Babe.
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012   General Artist
:iconlainloveplz:
Reply
:iconrazzigyrl:
razzigyrl Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Ouch. This is so beautiful, so sad, so wonderfully phrased. All I can think of is Chris Stapleton singing "That's the Difference Between Whiskey & You", and my own lonelier days.

:heart:

!yoJ
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
I love that song!

Thank you. :meow:
Reply
:iconlifeuncommon:
lifeuncommon Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012
I love the alcohol-tinged pathos and the loneliness, both relate-able to me and what gets leeched into my own writing frequently. :) Congrats on the DLD and then the DD.

I like the premise and much of the word choice. I do struggle however with too many different metaphors vying for profundity. It was a highlight for other commenters earlier but personally I found the dodecahedron paragraph to be far too much. It's a good idea and piece of prose. It just fights with the rest of the imagery to become too much of a good thing. Perhaps that paragraph belongs in a different piece of writing?

Though in all honesty you began to lose me at "My ocean's a cruel maiden." I don't get where the ocean came from and why it's a cruel maiden whose distance adds to the flavour. :? If you're relating that ocean to the "ocean of coal" earlier on, maybe the link needs to be stronger. Personally I'd rethink that whole confusing line.

Overall it's good and I like the atmosphere. I just think it's lessened by what seem to read like challenges in a writing prompt to include particular words or imagery that may not have otherwise belonged. :shrug:
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
No I completely understand and agree, I honestly never expected the piece to get so big; some of the metaphors were almost a private joke between me and someone else, so they make no sense to others. Thank you for working through that anyway, means a lot. :meow:
Reply
:iconlifeuncommon:
lifeuncommon Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
Aha! Sounded like it. ;) Cool beans. :highfive:
Reply
:iconjennifermulkerrin:
JenniferMulkerrin Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Photographer
beautiful words
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you. :meow:
Reply
:iconpanterato:
Panterato Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
it's beautiful :)
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconnyiana-sama:
Nyiana-sama Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012
:la: Congrats on the Daily Deviation!
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you very much :la:
Reply
:iconnyiana-sama:
Nyiana-sama Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012
:huggle: You're welcome!
Reply
:iconlit-twitter:
Lit-Twitter Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012
Chirp, congrats on the DD, it's been twittered. :)
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
You're a star ;)
Reply
:iconimportantnobody:
ImportantNobody Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012
Wah! This is beautiful. I love how this reads :)
Congratulations by the way :)
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you. :meow:
Reply
:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Absolutely amazing piece :aww:

Congrats on DD ^^
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
Thanks. ^^
Reply
:iconthfan259:
THFan259 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
you're welcome ^^
Reply
:iconbrassteeth:
brassteeth Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012
The ghost at the bar. Wonderful and congratulations on your D.D!
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
Thank you, very much. :D
Reply
:iconsuperaimster:
SuperAimster Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congrats on the DD! :heart:
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Professional Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012   General Artist
Congratulations on the greatly deserved DLD, dear Mr. Mentor! :iconlaloveplz:
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Professional Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012   General Artist
:blowkiss:
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012   Writer
:iconcongratulationplz: ...on the DLD Pick of the Day!
This piece touches the heart and leaves readers knowing they experienced something important with you. :+fav: Thank you.
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DailyLitDeviations and has been selected as our "Pick of the Day". It is featured in a news article here: [link] and on our main page.

Keep writing and keep creating.
Reply
:iconcherrichan13:
cherrichan13 Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Friend, hmm.
Reply
:iconwyvernletdie:
WyvernLetDie Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2012  Professional Writer
Yes. A Mr Jack Daniel.
Reply
:iconcherrichan13:
cherrichan13 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
;P
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconwyvernletdie: More from WyvernLetDie


Featured in Collections

Writings by Hanaki-chan

writing by hunting-shadows

Writing by MistressofQuills


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
March 24, 2012
File Size
2.3 KB
Submitted with
Sta.sh
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
5,294
Favourites
151 (who?)
Comments
54

License

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
×